On a snow day…

On a snow day…

On a snow day, home school is hard. I’ve been a bit of a stickler this year and not called any snow days for our little classical academy. One reason is 2 of the public school snow days occurred after I let my daughter go to the beach with Grandma and skip school for 2 days… it was her birthday! I was determined to get on track after the break. And I am certainly affirmed that getting back to our routine was the right decision. As we sat at the table watching the snow gently fall faster and faster through the window, I had a very distracted little girl beside me. She never really sits still for school, but today she was up and down, putting one foot on the floor, shifting her weight from her arms to her bum. She stumbled over words I knew she could read if she was focused. And I wanted to pull my hair out. Patience is a slow lesson to learn… it may be a lifelong lesson. What do you think? Teaching a child to do anything is hard. But just sitting by and letting them figure out a simple addition problem and not finishing a word they are struggling to read is extremely difficult for me. I literally have to bite my tongue and conceal groans of impatience. Sometimes I sit on my hands. Sometimes I clench my jaw to keep from nagging her. And sometimes I fail. My tone of disappointment comes through. I whine like a little child. And then the guilt sets in. I say the things you’re...

Imitation without love = Flattery

They say, “Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.” As Christians, we are called to imitate Jesus. But imitation without love is just flattery – i.e. meaningless empty excessive praise. There’s a constant struggle between my head and my heart. Love for God should come first and the imitation will follow. But there are moments, days and even weeks when I’ve flip-flopped these two. I join the chase for perfection and trick myself into thinking I must appear perfect so I can point to God. What?! That is so silly now that I see it in print. But it’s really the lie I let myself believe. History shows that He uses the most imperfect and unlikely band of heroes to save the world. His own son was born in a stable smelling of manure for crying out loud! So my house doesn’t need to look like it belongs in a magazine and my dishes CAN be dirty! And every picture on my Instagram feed doesn’t need to have perfect light and kids with their hair and make-up……. did I just say kids with make-up!? Wow. (I’m not saying anyone does that, it was actually a slip, but sometimes kids on Instagram do appear like models…how!? My daughter wears mismatched clothes everyday and her hair looks like a bird nest half the time.) …AND my schedule doesn’t need to be full of speaking engagements in exotic places and meetings with publishers who want me to write a book. That does happen for some. And I know a few of them and God is using them to change lives…mine included....
Selfish Strength

Selfish Strength

Confession: Sometimes I pray for selfish strength. I love this verse and have said it to myself hundreds of times. The problem is that when I read or say this verse, what I am really thinking is “I can GET THROUGH all things with the strength He gives me.” Most of the time when I pray for strength from God, it is because I don’t like my circumstances. I am frustrated. I am bitter. I am discontent. Like when I hated my first “real” job and where my husband and I lived for the first 2 years of our marriage. Or when I was potty-training a two-year-old with a newborn and a hormonal 4 year-old. Or when I am fighting temptation to “chase perfection.” Or when I’ve said yes to too many things and wish I could crawl under a rock. My motive is completely wrong when I do this. I want to cause change with my prayer. I want my “bad” circumstances to come to an end…really soon. I want it over. I want to survive without shattering everything I’ve worked for. Today’s daily verse on the You Version App is Philippians 4:13. This morning I read it and realized I’ve never considered the context of this verse, so I read the entire chapter. Paul is writing to the Philippians, people in a church he helped start in the city of Philippi. He has gone through physical beatings and faced adversity from religious and political leaders. He has gone hungry and sat in prison unjustly. He misses the people he loves. And this is what he says, “11...

Morning naptime – GONE!

Help me, Lord, Mr. T gave up his morning nap. He’s coming up to his 18 month birthday and last week. I don’t remember how long the other two kids napped in the morning, but I think he lasted the longest. That was such a blessing for the beginning of our home school routine. Now…ugh! I have not figured out how to do it. It just feels like a three ring circus, but everyone is performing different routines at the same time. I’ve go the 3 year-old, my middle man who is doing well, but needs entertained. Then my little brute of a baby wandering around. Meanwhile, this little almost 6-year-old girl is trying to learn to read. Interruption after fit after head-bonk resulting in wailing after running laps…it’s a hot mess here. And this week, anxiety has started the second I wake up (it has lingered from Postpartum hormones). Oh, hello PMS. I’m not trying to complain, this is just reality and I’m struggling. So, that’s all. We’re gonna get through it and she will learn to read. I’m not worried. Just stressed by all the...