Ask Why – it’s okay

Today I asked God “why” and I wasn’t scared of making him angry. I am not angry even, I’m just confused. My heart dropped when I got a text today from my best friend that despite excitement about planning to share good news with the world that they had a healthy pregnancy, they found out today that the baby had died 3 weeks ago. Now, she has to go have a procedure done to give birth to their now spiritless precious 3rd child. They have lost 3 children. I can not even comprehend. First they struggled with infertility and when they finally, got pregnant, lost their first child. Then, there was Owen. His little heart could not survive outside of the womb. He fought for 3 weeks. I had the privilege of meeting him in the Cleveland Clinic. And now this. It felt like a blow to me – a gut shot. I don’t even know how they could be coping right now. It is almost paralyzing me. I can not move past it. But there – those words – “moving past it.” Nicole never will. She’ll grow and mourn in a new way. But the loss will be forever felt in her heart until she is reunited with her children. I am 500 miles away. I can go about my day unscathed. I can push it out of my head as the days go on…but I have to remember that Nicole cannot. The pain was straight to her heart. While I was punched, she was stabbed. But she is a fighter – the apple didn’t fall far. Please...